"Smile, you might like it"

Got mystery customered today, apparently I need to stop looking at the floor when I walk around and smile more.

But if I look at people they expect me to talk to them, and I don’t want to talk to them. I’m a moody git and I really don’t want to change that.

And smile more? I always sodding smile at customers if I ever look at them. Being caught with a passive look on my face while measuring out vodka does not mean I need to smile more. It’s impossible to smile for 8 hours straight, anyone who does is clearly possessed or works in a McDonald’s advert.

They expect me to smile while waiting for the receipt to print, or for a pint of Strongbow to fill, like some demonic drinks pourer? Maybe I should start shooting cheeky grins at the Real Ale pump, or winking at shots of Smirnoff. They said I should smile more, they didn’t say anything about not being allowed to express my vodka-bottle fetish.

New Year's sodding Eve

I hate New Year’s, I truly hate it. Not that I was working New Year’s Eve night, I just felt like I could die the next day. Really should have learned not to get hammered before a morning-shift. Although it does give me some pleasure to see customers in just as much pain as me.

And yes, yes I’m rather late in posting this after New Year’s, but I’ve only just recovered from the hangover – do you think I was going to do anything constructive otherwise if I could help it??